You with the perfect gesture that everyone think a lady should have.
I wonder why is it your heart is just as ugly as a mean coyote.
You with the soft figure, I just can't imagine why isn't there any softness in you heart.
You, the one I still insist to respect, i just don't understand why is there stil hate
..
You're the one with more wisdom here, this is the first time ever I see nose & chin tilted the highest
Have you really been wise or arrogant all this while?
Cause all this while I have only known great people bow down even more when they are the wisest...
You with your big mouth, so good with words that pierce through anything.
Just thought that the baptism would bring out a whole new you, but maybe it wasn't strong enough..
And I thought that the marriage or a fiance too would dilute your poisonous mouth a little bit,
But nah..i think it's the same..or did you fake it when you're in front of them?
We all go to the same church, but i wonder why your heart is so darkest blue?
Am i really that bad? that worst?
Cause even when i stay stil their anger shoots flames of fire
What else to compare when there's something catastrophic
Maybe I am a devil cause they hate me that much
But isn't every human bound to make mistake?
Well then I guess I'm the perfect sinner
You know i like sport but suddenly u said it's not your thing anymore?
While I'm stil eager for it, straightaway u say u'r a retiree?
So what you're trying to say is that you're so mature your habit change so fast
Yeah, that's your very2 good mindset that you should keep up
I guess that's why people always see you're way older than your age..(hahaha)
I wonder how can anyone can ever be happy being like that, living that, thinking like that.
I hope one day things will turn out differently to you.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wonder what if I chose the paths not taken.
I'm not sure whether i'm such a big complainer or is it the choices i have has always been the way it is. Well to start this off.....
1. When i was in my matriculation years i was given the Biology course but in the end i faught to change to get into Physical course. Dad was so furious with that decision and i was so up front to prove him that i can do well in it that later in future it will provide something fruitfull.
2. At the end of the matriculation course when ever student was busy with filling up forms to enter university, I was so keen on choosing chemical engineering for degree. That's because I find chemistry is very fun and I kinda did well in it for SPM. Then a lady chemistry lecturer gave her opinion that engineering is not suitable for girls coz later in career wise it's going to be very rough profession. Well, having working for almost 3 years now I dont think what she said is 100% true though unless if the girl is in civil engineering especially. Again, i was makng decision against an elder's advice.
3. During my 1st year in uni, i was told by Dad that during middle on my matric year i was actually offered to try 2 trial years for foundation in KL for JPA oversea course for education in Physics. How ironic it was as i was so stubborn to change my Biological course to Physical course during matric. He said he didnt want to show it to me cuz i was already in Labuan for matric and the other offer was only for trial. But i dont blame him though..well not as I first found out about it. He's just being overprotective & being a typical old man in village, he's just too dearly to be mad at. Sometimes, I was mad at ...er..God? but however it is, maybe He has a reason for me.
4. After graduation, I has been offered procees engineer post in my practical training place but the company is located in Peninsular. I was determine to go back to hometown. Being faraway for too long sometimes can make the soul weary & distraught and that's how it gets lost..I think. Dad asked if i was interested to try teaching. But usually teaching after graduating wit diff degree can only provide you choices teaching subjects of not your choices..hmm...u know la..Then got a call for interview for process engnr in BJ services in Miri but i was still stuck in Kuantan and the ticket was already bought for a later date.
5. And so i got a job in Bintulu but not as fun as i imagined it would be. Working life started off getting into sales and PR....hmm...$$$$...well not fun for me..except for the friends found there and the experiences and environment..hehe..happening pening2 babe...hahah..at this point, it made me think whether my first ever choice in the beginning was actually the wrong choice? Life is not as fun as we normally plan isn't it..
6. Now..hmm...Sales Engineer..hadui...PR stuff is obviously not my thing..but try anyway. Still I haven't feel content, not yet to the point where i can say "yeah..i really enjoy my work!"...anyway, i'm always told maybe it's not my time yet..
Sometimes i get to be told that all this while i"ve been making the wrong choices..but i thought all this while i've been choosing what i like and things will be alright. At this point, should i should forget about it then carry on with choices that would make things easier? If I do choose to turn back, will be too late? Even so, if I stay, will luck comes by one day with the choices i like?..
1. When i was in my matriculation years i was given the Biology course but in the end i faught to change to get into Physical course. Dad was so furious with that decision and i was so up front to prove him that i can do well in it that later in future it will provide something fruitfull.
2. At the end of the matriculation course when ever student was busy with filling up forms to enter university, I was so keen on choosing chemical engineering for degree. That's because I find chemistry is very fun and I kinda did well in it for SPM. Then a lady chemistry lecturer gave her opinion that engineering is not suitable for girls coz later in career wise it's going to be very rough profession. Well, having working for almost 3 years now I dont think what she said is 100% true though unless if the girl is in civil engineering especially. Again, i was makng decision against an elder's advice.
3. During my 1st year in uni, i was told by Dad that during middle on my matric year i was actually offered to try 2 trial years for foundation in KL for JPA oversea course for education in Physics. How ironic it was as i was so stubborn to change my Biological course to Physical course during matric. He said he didnt want to show it to me cuz i was already in Labuan for matric and the other offer was only for trial. But i dont blame him though..well not as I first found out about it. He's just being overprotective & being a typical old man in village, he's just too dearly to be mad at. Sometimes, I was mad at ...er..God? but however it is, maybe He has a reason for me.
4. After graduation, I has been offered procees engineer post in my practical training place but the company is located in Peninsular. I was determine to go back to hometown. Being faraway for too long sometimes can make the soul weary & distraught and that's how it gets lost..I think. Dad asked if i was interested to try teaching. But usually teaching after graduating wit diff degree can only provide you choices teaching subjects of not your choices..hmm...u know la..Then got a call for interview for process engnr in BJ services in Miri but i was still stuck in Kuantan and the ticket was already bought for a later date.
5. And so i got a job in Bintulu but not as fun as i imagined it would be. Working life started off getting into sales and PR....hmm...$$$$...well not fun for me..except for the friends found there and the experiences and environment..hehe..happening pening2 babe...hahah..at this point, it made me think whether my first ever choice in the beginning was actually the wrong choice? Life is not as fun as we normally plan isn't it..
6. Now..hmm...Sales Engineer..hadui...PR stuff is obviously not my thing..but try anyway. Still I haven't feel content, not yet to the point where i can say "yeah..i really enjoy my work!"...anyway, i'm always told maybe it's not my time yet..
Sometimes i get to be told that all this while i"ve been making the wrong choices..but i thought all this while i've been choosing what i like and things will be alright. At this point, should i should forget about it then carry on with choices that would make things easier? If I do choose to turn back, will be too late? Even so, if I stay, will luck comes by one day with the choices i like?..
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